Tag: childhood
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As the Rainy Saturday Goes Downhill
Stage 1: Mopey children. Stage 2: Interested, learning children, doing science experiments out of a book. They have been adequately warned that they will be responsible for cleaning up the mess, according to child development, Montessori, and other intellectual principles. Accompanied by parental smugness and patting self on back. Stage 3: Children begin getting carried away…
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Sheep, Hoarders, and Helicopters: The Piñata Test
You can learn all you need to know about humans when you attend a child’s party featuring a piñata. The good news is that we can stop funding sociological and anthropological research and just start sending scientists to children’s birthday parties, which are known to be–wait, those are as expensive as a university grant. Possibly more expensive. Never…
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Little Wandering Daughter
As I drove out tonight, I looked up and saw the full moon in the sky. I took a moment to acknowledge my place underneath it. As I started driving again, I drove down the street past other cars, and we were like ants scurrying along on our busy way, oblivious beneath the moon. And…
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I Don’t Wanna Come Up with a Creative Title
I just keep starting to cry today. I’m not depressed. I don’t have PMS. I’m tired. I do feel a little beaten down. I have a child with challenges. School can be terrible sometimes. I yelled at someone in an IEP meeting, and I don’t approve of yelling at people you are trying to work with.…
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So, You Would Like to Have a Roomba…
I have a new Roomba. I thought I wanted one more than just about anything. And then I got one. And I was RIGHT! This thing has changed my life. My floors look amazing, even with three kids, one golden retriever, two cats, and a giant rabbit in the house. And I swear that has…
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Picture Day!
Recently, a small flyer came home in my child’s folder. It said, “Picture day is coming.” I remarked to Leon, “I’ll bet most parents don’t read that as a warning.” But honestly, I know enough of you do. I vaguely remember picture day. They’d line us up, give us a small black comb. (Where…
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What Love Looks Like: A Comic
For more comic silliness, see First Day of School. For more on love amid the chaos, see It’s Complicated.
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Unsolved Mysteries
My house would be a great setting for a mystery show or book. It’s full of problems, crime scenes, suspects, and evidence. What we seem to be lacking is the Encylopedia Brown, DCS Foyle, or Jessica Fletcher. Here’s a list of heretofore unsolved mysteries: 1) Why the refrigerator smells. 2) Where all the shoes have gone. ALL the…
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Gamblin’ Man
On Wednesday, Noah had his first soccer practice. He’s not quite four, so my expectations were not high. When the other kids were four, if memory serves, I basically watched their whole teams spontaneously, simultaneously fall down over and over, throughout the entire game, every game. There was very little ball kicking, and quite a…
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Budding Scientist
Warning: This is gross. My daughter is a scientist. I think I first began to realize this when she was about five, and her younger brother broke his head open. I was trying to shield her from the medical procedures and all the blood, but I gradually noticed that she wasn’t scared, and was, in…