childhood Archive
Distance Learning
Approximately 4,061 months ago, our local schools shuttered, and we started this new magic called “distance learning.” Needless to say, this is very hard for all of us. I can’t change that, but what I can do is provide some support for you parents out there. I’m going to craft a universal schedule based on
Category: Funnies
The Tooth Fairy Bites
I have to say, one of the hardest things about parenting is being the doggone tooth fairy! I know, I know, some of you manage this beautifully and your beautiful children have beautiful charm bracelets representing each of their lost teeth so they can cherish these childhood milestones. (Cough, Kelly, cough, you’re making the rest
Category: Funnies
I Had to Walk Uphill Both Ways!
I’ll be honest: I had a very challenging childhood. When it came to television, that is. My kids don’t get it. We have YouTube on our TV, several streaming programs, and instantaneous iTunes rentals, which means that they can literally watch anything at any time. They are privileged jerks, and they don’t even know it.
Category: Funnies
Beautiful Endings
Everything you need to know about child development, you can learn from soccer. I know that sounds weird. But it’s true. Selah has been on a soccer team since she was four. When she was four, I hated soccer, because she basically cried and fell down all the time, along with the rest of the
Category: Uncategorized
Accidentally Breaking Bad
Just found my daughter and her sweet little friend looking guilty in my daughter’s room. What they were trying to hide was that they were stirring together various household substances in cups, experiment-style. “What’s in it?” I ask. “Um, just some stuff,” Selah says. “What stuff?” “Just some salt and stuff.” I force her to
Category: Funnies
You Can’t Worm Your Way Out of This One
Last night I called Selah inside from the kids’ dirt play to get her ready for her night of pretending to be Eleanor Roosevelt at a wax museum. Which is itself a little odd I guess. Anyway, I started brushing her hair so I could put it up under her hat. It’s always very tangly so
Category: Funnies
chaospoem
where are the wii remotes she said banging in the door swinging child do not come in here and ask me where the remotes are I am editing poems and I never use those
Category: Funnies
Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table
I am partnering with Circle with Disney to write for their Family is Everything blog. Here’s a little preview of my first post on their blog: Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table. The bad news is that I’m going to tell you that you can’t watch cat videos at dinnertime (usually). The good
Category: Funnies
Darling Children
Darling Children, In an attempt to make things more simple and clear, I have already laid out our daily routine for you. But I have also noticed that I must tell you certain things more than one time. By “certain,” I mean “all.” And by “more than one time,” I mean that I have said these things
Category: Funnies
The Circle of Life
You’re welcome for putting that song in your head. Ahem. My partner, Leon, teaches first and second grade at a Montessori school. First graders these days learn about butterfly life cycles, among other things. Leon’s class got to hatch a batch of caterpillars, watching them make cocoons and then emerge as beautiful butterflies. This is a
Category: Funnies