Author Archive

Beauty in the Hellscape

Two things happened today. One: While we were driving, my friend spotted a tiny, raggedy pup frantically running down the sidewalk of a busy street and heading for the road. My friend was the driver, so I leaped out of our car and chased the little dog down, frantically waving down speeding traffic, with the
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We’re doing it all wrong. This whole winter break thing–it’s terrible. For the first few days, it’s pretty exciting. It’s almost Christmas, and even when you’re rage-wrapping on Christmas Eve, there is still that excitement in the air, even if it’s hard to feel amid arguments over the one remaining roll of tape. Christmas is
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I Guess I’d Still Like to Have Three Children

I stumbled across a comment on my blog today, asking me how old I am now and suggesting that the writer of the comment, who’s just about my age, would still like to have three children. It made me think. I still do have three children (thankfully). Sometimes I think about the essay I wrote
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The Tooth Fairy Bites

I have to say, one of the hardest things about parenting is being the doggone tooth fairy! I know, I know, some of you manage this beautifully and your beautiful children have beautiful charm bracelets representing each of their lost teeth so they can cherish these childhood milestones. (Cough, Kelly, cough, you’re making the rest
Category: Funnies

I Had to Walk Uphill Both Ways!

I’ll be honest: I had a very challenging childhood. When it came to television, that is. My kids don’t get it. We have YouTube on our TV, several streaming programs, and instantaneous iTunes rentals, which means that they can literally watch anything at any time. They are privileged jerks, and they don’t even know it.
Category: Funnies

Drop It Like It’s Hot

I’m getting ready for the school auction. Asher says, “Mom, can you jump on the trampoline with me?” “I can’t, honey, I have to get ready for the party.” “Oh, is it one of those parties where the adults all drink a lot of wine?” “Um, well, it’s a party of school parents, and we’ll
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Please Get Me Out of Here: 14 Days Left

I have something dreadful to admit: I have become a terrible mother. No, seriously. On Monday, sitting at my desk, which is mere inches from the dining room table, where all three kids but especially Asher were super hyper and hooting and hollering, I bellowed, “Shut UP!” Yes, I have reached a point where I
Category: Funnies

Life Is Like a Random Red Sock in a Tree

I am having a sad and disappointing few days. We’ve had a family loss and lost the house we wanted to a higher bidder, I’ve had some work stresses, frustrations, and minor disappointments, and my friends all keep having huge losses–and I finally just had a large pity party that I am probably way overdue for.
Category: Life

Recipe for Disaster

9 cups Chex, two varieties for maximum mess 1 cup dairy-free chocolate chips (for child with allergies) 1/2 cup peanut butter with no crumbs in it (for child with allergies) 1/4 dairy-free margarine (for child with allergies) 1 teaspoon of vanilla, which children cannot see even though it’s literally in the front of the cabinet
Category: Funnies

Merry as $^$^: A Christmas Tale

I’ll just start this out by being honest: I’m supposed to be working. But you guys need to know this story. So really, I’m acting selflessly by writing about it right now. You’re welcome. So. Christmas decorating. I love Christmas decorations, though setting them up is basically performing hard manual labor during a harshly cold,
Category: Funnies