blog Archive
Me Time!
After a hectic morning playing video games with people immediately upon waking, medicating and feeding various pets and foster kittens, finding ingredients for “elephant toothpaste,” telling people they couldn’t eat brownies for breakfast, trying to get people to please just clean up their dishes, telling people they had to go outside–you know, the usual–I decided
Category: Funnies
What Are We Even Doing Here?
I gave my kids a piece of candy before the Easter service, I’ll admit. It’s just that they asked, and they had cute little baskets from Dad’s, and they were cute, and it was my favorite holiday. It was a mistake, because on the ride from their dad’s house, between the sugar and the excitement of
Category: Funnies
Accidentally Breaking Bad
Just found my daughter and her sweet little friend looking guilty in my daughter’s room. What they were trying to hide was that they were stirring together various household substances in cups, experiment-style. “What’s in it?” I ask. “Um, just some stuff,” Selah says. “What stuff?” “Just some salt and stuff.” I force her to
Category: Funnies
Bad Little Girls Get Stung by Bees
I have already written about my daughter’s room. Basically it’s a mess. It’s a real mess. It’s kind of embarrassing how messy it is, and yet I have no idea how to clean it, so I don’t really know how to tell her to clean it. But periodically I issue various threats and edicts, and
Category: Funnies
The Wrongest Mommy
I recently had the pleasure of seeing my story, “The Wrongest Mommy,” published on Mamalode.com. Here it is! The Wrongest Mommy Eight-year-old Selah loves it when I retell stories of ridiculous things she did—or when I retell stories of ridiculous things I did. Perhaps her second-favorite story is about the day that I stormed
Category: Funnies
50 Ways to Enrage Your Mommy
For the last couple of days, my blog was down. This was because my blog, like me, is caught in transitional divorce land. You see, back when my blog was a baby, my ex was kind enough to set it up for me and make it pretty, and I have to admit I’m unsure how
Category: Funnies
Night Crawlers
The other night, I was sleeping. I would say this was unsurprising, but in a way, when you are a parent, it’s kind of surprising, because you seem to wind up with a lot of nighttime visitors, people who need to tell you they are about to go use the bathroom, and people who really
Category: Funnies