Uncategorized Archive

Death Geese

I will admit, I have made some slanderous statements about geese in this blog (see All in the Family). However, I maintain that I was justified in calling them a$$holes. And if you do not already feel this way, I would like to tell you a story. My sister has always been afraid of geese.
Category: Funnies

Go Home, Lassie, You Are Drunk

Valiant, rescuing dog stories are kind of a cliché. Even if you never actually watched Lassie getting Timmy rescued from the well, you have probably encountered all the stories about brave and noble canines out there. Meg, my childhood dog, was very good at being a Labrador retriever. She was well trained. She could have
Category: Funnies

That Was a Sick Road Trip

Some of you have said that you are hoping for a blog post out of my trip to Mendocino with the three kids. Well, I’m not saying that won’t happen (we’ve only been here two hours). The drive sucked in the ways that all family drives suck. Nothing outlandish happened, however. But the fact that
Category: Funnies

Friday Funny: SNL’s Lawrence Welk Show

I am going to let you in on a little inside joke with my friend Kristin. These skits are our guilty pleasure. There’s something terribly wrong with them. But what can I say? More Friday Funnies: Goats Yelling Like Humans Yelling Like Goats Cake Wrecks  
Category: Uncategorized

The Things I Remember

My grandmother is my one remaining grandparent, and she is ready. Ready to go. She has been ready to go. She is not ill. She is 94. I don’t know when she will go, but in a weird way, to be on her side, I have to hope that maybe it’s soon. My sister thought
Category: Life

Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking

Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any
Category: Funnies

She’s a Princess Queen

My daughter sings. She sings all the time. She makes up songs all the time. Granted, when her children’s choir stands in front of our church, she mostly forgets to sing and just smiles at me instead. But when she’s alone, she sings. She also tends toward the dramatic in her singing. Several years ago,
Category: Funnies

Friday Funny: Target Women

Happy Friday! Today’s selection comes from a series I love, narrated by Sarah Haskins. She compiles ads that target women, and then makes fun of them. If you have ever been irritated by how the media treats men, this one’s for you. Target Women: Doofy Husbands: (Note: a sad thing happened, which was that the
Category: Friday Funny

Penis Envy

Our first child was a girl. Partly because of this, I think of her as kind of a “starter child.” I know it must be because I’m a woman, but having a child with a penis just felt entirely outside of my skill set. When we potty trained Selah, it seemed straightforward. The differences between
Category: Funnies

At Least It’ll Make a Good Blog Post

We were planning to go camping for Memorial Day weekend. However, though the weather has been outright ridiculous lately, with day after day of warm sun–it suddenly cooled off for the weekend. We had already been a little worried about bringing three kids out to the woods, and when we realized that the highs would
Category: Life