Funnies Archive

Practically Five

At the zoo, I quickly realized that my family was not going to fit into one car of the train. (File this under “big-family problems.”) After some scrambling, we sorted ourselves into two: Asher and my significant other and I sat in the front car, and Selah took Noah to the second car, where there
Category: Funnies

Dear Children

Dear children, It is evidently still a mystery to you how the world works, so I’m going to let you in on a secret: We do the same thing every day. It’s the way the world works. It’s the human condition. People have been bemoaning this since the dawn of time. That’s why the movie
Category: Funnies

The Wrongest Mommy

I recently had the pleasure of seeing my story, “The Wrongest Mommy,” published on Mamalode.com. Here it is!   The Wrongest Mommy  Eight-year-old Selah loves it when I retell stories of ridiculous things she did—or when I retell stories of ridiculous things I did. Perhaps her second-favorite story is about the day that I stormed
Category: Funnies

But When Will She Dance?

My friend just had a baby. When I spotted them across the courtyard at church, I did what I tend to do when I see babies I know: I swooped in and asked if I could hold her. My friend was nice and indulged me in my desire for baby hugs. We were at the church’s
Category: Funnies

Oh Nooooo!

So, let’s say you have this red punching bag, the balloon kind. It originally belonged to your brother, but now it’s the only surviving one of three, so your mom said you have to share it. It has lost a lot of air over the course of the weekend, but it still remains somewhat balloony–it just has
Category: Funnies

This Is My Circus; These Are My Monkeys

This morning I brought my kids to  church with me. Whew. Somehow I have always found getting my children to church very difficult and tiring. I’m not exactly sure why, since we don’t have to leave as early as we do for school, and there is no need for lunches or anything–but it’s possible that
Category: Funnies

50 Ways to Enrage Your Mommy

For the last couple of days, my blog was down. This was because my blog, like me, is caught in transitional divorce land. You see, back when my blog was a baby, my ex was kind enough to set it up for me and make it pretty, and I have to admit I’m unsure how
Category: Funnies

Night Crawlers

The other night, I was sleeping. I would say this was unsurprising, but in a way, when you are a parent, it’s kind of surprising, because you seem to wind up with a lot of nighttime visitors, people who need to tell you they are about to go use the bathroom, and people who really
Category: Funnies

A Tale of Two Airplanes

When I chose my seat on the first airplane in this story, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was on the second leg of my trip, flying between Phoenix and Little Rock. Southwest Airlines allows you to choose your seat, which I like. When I got on, I chose a seat near the front
Category: Funnies

Let It Go

I did not name this post “Let It Go” after that song in Frozen. That freaking song that started out fine, but which has started to feel like it’s growing on me like a fungus I cannot get rid of. We listen to that song approximately 8 times a day, and I think the singer’s soprano gets
Category: Funnies