Funnies Archive

Picture Day!

Recently, a small flyer came home in my child’s folder. It said, “Picture day is coming.”   I remarked to Leon, “I’ll bet most parents don’t read that as a warning.” But honestly, I know enough of you do. I vaguely remember picture day. They’d line us up, give us a small black comb. (Where
Category: Funnies

“Me Time”

People are always saying how important it is to take time for yourself. “Me time.” You read this in magazines, and people announce that you need this when you look frazzled. It’s not just something that would be nice, but it’s something that’s necessary for health. Just Google it and you’ll find at least half
Category: Funnies

What Love Looks Like: A Comic

        For more comic silliness, see First Day of School.   For more on love amid the chaos, see It’s Complicated.  
Category: Funnies

Unsolved Mysteries

My house would be a great setting for a mystery show or book. It’s full of problems, crime scenes, suspects, and evidence. What we seem to be lacking is the Encylopedia Brown, DCS Foyle, or Jessica Fletcher. Here’s a list of heretofore unsolved mysteries: 1) Why the refrigerator smells. 2) Where all the shoes have gone. ALL the
Category: Funnies

First Day of School

I have yet to actually manage to take and then post any of those cute photos with kids holding signs, saying things like, “My organized mother made this sign so that we’ll always know this was my first day of first grade. And also, I am much tidier than any of you and am smiling
Category: Funnies

Gamblin’ Man

On Wednesday, Noah had his first soccer practice. He’s not quite four, so my expectations were not high. When the other kids were four, if memory serves, I basically watched their whole teams spontaneously, simultaneously fall down over and over, throughout the entire game, every game. There was very little ball kicking, and quite a
Category: Funnies

Budding Scientist

Warning: This is gross. My daughter is a scientist. I think I first began to realize this when she was about five, and her younger brother broke his head open. I was trying to shield her from the medical procedures and all the blood, but I gradually noticed that she wasn’t scared, and was, in
Category: Funnies

One Euthanasia Bag, Please

So, we did it. My partner and I took three kids under 10 on a plane. For lots of hours. The flight there was pretty good. There was a brief period of three-year-old Noah yelling, “I want orange juice!” because I had told him about the beverage service before it actually appeared (such a rookie mistake!)
Category: Funnies

As We Prepare for Our Trip

Dear Children, As we prepare for our upcoming trip, I would like to explain some things to you. This is a vacation. It is our first vacation in quite a while that doesn’t involve relatives, sleeping bags, or our imaginations. Mommy spent all of our money on this vacation, and some we don’t have. I am
Category: Funnies

Bad Little Girls Get Stung by Bees

I have already written about my daughter’s room. Basically it’s a mess. It’s a real mess. It’s kind of embarrassing how messy it is, and yet I have no idea how to clean it, so I don’t really know how to tell her to clean it. But periodically I issue various threats and edicts, and
Category: Funnies