Category: Funnies
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The Shut-Up Places
My kids and Leon and I are like a traveling road show. We spent the long weekend traveling down to the Monterey area to see our parents. Noah was in great form all weekend, if by “great” you mean “really whiny, oddly hungry, and also full of hilarious one-liners.” In other words, he’s four and…
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Like Putty in My…Hair
I drifted awake this morning, trying to decide if I should get up and hustle us to church or not. One of my kids loves going to church and asks if we can go more often whenever we’ve skipped. Another of my kids hates church, and I have to overcome a lot of unhappiness to…
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So, You Would Like to Have a Roomba…
I have a new Roomba. I thought I wanted one more than just about anything. And then I got one. And I was RIGHT! This thing has changed my life. My floors look amazing, even with three kids, one golden retriever, two cats, and a giant rabbit in the house. And I swear that has…
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Picture Day!
Recently, a small flyer came home in my child’s folder. It said, “Picture day is coming.” I remarked to Leon, “I’ll bet most parents don’t read that as a warning.” But honestly, I know enough of you do. I vaguely remember picture day. They’d line us up, give us a small black comb. (Where…
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“Me Time”
People are always saying how important it is to take time for yourself. “Me time.” You read this in magazines, and people announce that you need this when you look frazzled. It’s not just something that would be nice, but it’s something that’s necessary for health. Just Google it and you’ll find at least half…
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What Love Looks Like: A Comic
For more comic silliness, see First Day of School. For more on love amid the chaos, see It’s Complicated.
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Unsolved Mysteries
My house would be a great setting for a mystery show or book. It’s full of problems, crime scenes, suspects, and evidence. What we seem to be lacking is the Encylopedia Brown, DCS Foyle, or Jessica Fletcher. Here’s a list of heretofore unsolved mysteries: 1) Why the refrigerator smells. 2) Where all the shoes have gone. ALL the…
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First Day of School
I have yet to actually manage to take and then post any of those cute photos with kids holding signs, saying things like, “My organized mother made this sign so that we’ll always know this was my first day of first grade. And also, I am much tidier than any of you and am smiling…
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Gamblin’ Man
On Wednesday, Noah had his first soccer practice. He’s not quite four, so my expectations were not high. When the other kids were four, if memory serves, I basically watched their whole teams spontaneously, simultaneously fall down over and over, throughout the entire game, every game. There was very little ball kicking, and quite a…
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Budding Scientist
Warning: This is gross. My daughter is a scientist. I think I first began to realize this when she was about five, and her younger brother broke his head open. I was trying to shield her from the medical procedures and all the blood, but I gradually noticed that she wasn’t scared, and was, in…