Tag: parenthood
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She Needs Groceries: Live Reading
At long last, they have posted the videos from the 2013 Listen to Your Mother show. Here’s my reading. Enjoy! If you’d rather read the essay yourself or don’t have time for a video, here’s the written version. Thankfully, though the video did not come out in very good quality, Sarah Maren Photographers came through…
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Crossing Invisible Finish Lines
Recently, I found our old copy of Sandra Boynton’s Snuggle Puppy. Though Noah was not keen on sitting still and letting anyone actually make it all the way through a book without seizing it and possibly throwing it, I thought that book had a chance. It’s mostly a song, so I thought that would capture…
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I’m Not Cut Out for This
I’m not cut out for this. I turn around in my seat, having just finished hollering something ineffective and useless like, “I mean it!” And the children don’t care, and they aren’t listening, and I am filled with rage. I’m not cut out for this parenting thing. We are on our way back from Lake…
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The Waters Weren’t the Only Ones Raging: Bringing Children to the Water Slide Park
I have lived in Sacramento for four years, and never been to Raging Waters Sacramento (or any local theme park, really). There is a reason for this: I hadn’t felt up to dragging a bunch of baby children there. Since my kids are 7, almost 4, and 1, I have had some sort of baby…
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So, You Would Like to Have Three Children…
I regularly speak with people who have zero children, or one child, or two children. And they tell me they might consider or would like to have three children. My first impulse, I will own, is to bark, “No, you don’t want three kids.” But that is not helpful, I know this. So here’s what…
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Afternoon Off
sweet baby melted body dozy idle *** clean floor guests coming hide that *** warm dirt lazy sun kids inside quiet baby carrot cool, sweet
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Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking
Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any…
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Signs of Subpar Parenting
I’m not saying that all this stuff happened. This is just a random list of red flags, I swear, just signs that would indicate subpar parenting. Telling his father that we should have named Asher Ashhole instead Going to Mother’s Day tea and hearing the sentence “My Mommy spends all her time______” finished with the word…
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Going Crazy
So here’s a little story from my husband: “Sometimes I’m sure I’m gonna go crazy,” I mutter to myself while driving. “Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy…and then I go crazy,” Asher mutters to himself in the backseat. I think I need not write any more.
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At Least It’ll Make a Good Blog Post
We were planning to go camping for Memorial Day weekend. However, though the weather has been outright ridiculous lately, with day after day of warm sun–it suddenly cooled off for the weekend. We had already been a little worried about bringing three kids out to the woods, and when we realized that the highs would…