Tag: kids
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So, You Would Like to Have Three Children…
I regularly speak with people who have zero children, or one child, or two children. And they tell me they might consider or would like to have three children. My first impulse, I will own, is to bark, “No, you don’t want three kids.” But that is not helpful, I know this. So here’s what…
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That Was a Sick Road Trip
Some of you have said that you are hoping for a blog post out of my trip to Mendocino with the three kids. Well, I’m not saying that won’t happen (we’ve only been here two hours). The drive sucked in the ways that all family drives suck. Nothing outlandish happened, however. But the fact that…
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Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking
Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any…
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Penis Envy
Our first child was a girl. Partly because of this, I think of her as kind of a “starter child.” I know it must be because I’m a woman, but having a child with a penis just felt entirely outside of my skill set. When we potty trained Selah, it seemed straightforward. The differences between…
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Signs of Subpar Parenting
I’m not saying that all this stuff happened. This is just a random list of red flags, I swear, just signs that would indicate subpar parenting. Telling his father that we should have named Asher Ashhole instead Going to Mother’s Day tea and hearing the sentence “My Mommy spends all her time______” finished with the word…
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Little Buppy
As many of you know, I cried the entire time I was pregnant with my third child. I felt so overwhelmed with two! But something wonderful happened. Or a combination of factors that worked out to be wonderful. For one, Noah is a sweet baby. Also, it turns out the more babies you have, the…
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At Least It’ll Make a Good Blog Post
We were planning to go camping for Memorial Day weekend. However, though the weather has been outright ridiculous lately, with day after day of warm sun–it suddenly cooled off for the weekend. We had already been a little worried about bringing three kids out to the woods, and when we realized that the highs would…
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Parenting with Love, Randomness, and Therapy Funds
Full disclosure time: I have not parented my children with an equal hand. This may be why Selah can be a bit whiny and Asher is so angry. And Noah? Awww, he’s just a wittle baby. But here’s the thing I have learned: children are like snowflakes. They come in all different shapes and sizes,…
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Worst Baptism Ever
So. [Deep breath. Let it out.] Where do I begin? My family is Presbyterian. Presbyterians often baptize their children as infants, with a baptism being part of the “entry into the community” kind of deal. However, I learned this past weekend that they also do this for a far more important reason. Because they are…
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
So, it may come as no surprise that I hate my car, a minivan that I never really wanted. But it turns out that it knows this, and it has started to punish me. It started subtly–randomly setting off its own panic device when I was out with it in public, and occasionally short-circuiting its…