Tag: funny
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Sweeter than I Expected
I think I was looking forward to the wrong things. When I found out Selah was going to be a girl, I was thrilled. I know, I’m a terrible feminist, but I couldn’t wait to dress her up in pretty clothes. It was going to be like having my very own living doll! People gave…
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Working at Break-Tech Speed
We all know that technology can make life easier, but it can also make life horribly frustrating. Trying to navigate new updates, saving data, working around malfunctions for programs you depend on…it can all add up to a real digital headache. But for people who spend time around children, technology can also be a physical or financial…
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Go Home, Lassie, You Are Drunk
Valiant, rescuing dog stories are kind of a cliché. Even if you never actually watched Lassie getting Timmy rescued from the well, you have probably encountered all the stories about brave and noble canines out there. Meg, my childhood dog, was very good at being a Labrador retriever. She was well trained. She could have…
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Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking
Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any…
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She’s a Princess Queen
My daughter sings. She sings all the time. She makes up songs all the time. Granted, when her children’s choir stands in front of our church, she mostly forgets to sing and just smiles at me instead. But when she’s alone, she sings. She also tends toward the dramatic in her singing. Several years ago,…
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Penis Envy
Our first child was a girl. Partly because of this, I think of her as kind of a “starter child.” I know it must be because I’m a woman, but having a child with a penis just felt entirely outside of my skill set. When we potty trained Selah, it seemed straightforward. The differences between…
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Signs of Subpar Parenting
I’m not saying that all this stuff happened. This is just a random list of red flags, I swear, just signs that would indicate subpar parenting. Telling his father that we should have named Asher Ashhole instead Going to Mother’s Day tea and hearing the sentence “My Mommy spends all her time______” finished with the word…
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Little Buppy
As many of you know, I cried the entire time I was pregnant with my third child. I felt so overwhelmed with two! But something wonderful happened. Or a combination of factors that worked out to be wonderful. For one, Noah is a sweet baby. Also, it turns out the more babies you have, the…
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Going Crazy
So here’s a little story from my husband: “Sometimes I’m sure I’m gonna go crazy,” I mutter to myself while driving. “Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy…and then I go crazy,” Asher mutters to himself in the backseat. I think I need not write any more.
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Parenting with Love, Randomness, and Therapy Funds
Full disclosure time: I have not parented my children with an equal hand. This may be why Selah can be a bit whiny and Asher is so angry. And Noah? Awww, he’s just a wittle baby. But here’s the thing I have learned: children are like snowflakes. They come in all different shapes and sizes,…