Tag: childhood
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The Fairy Princess Surprise
Dear Noah, I am going to tell you about a certain incident that happened in your babyhood. I want to tell you now, so that we can get proper mileage out of it in years to come. I don’t want your high school graduation or your wedding to be the first time you hear about…
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Working at Break-Tech Speed
We all know that technology can make life easier, but it can also make life horribly frustrating. Trying to navigate new updates, saving data, working around malfunctions for programs you depend on…it can all add up to a real digital headache. But for people who spend time around children, technology can also be a physical or financial…
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She Needs Groceries: Live Reading
At long last, they have posted the videos from the 2013 Listen to Your Mother show. Here’s my reading. Enjoy! If you’d rather read the essay yourself or don’t have time for a video, here’s the written version. Thankfully, though the video did not come out in very good quality, Sarah Maren Photographers came through…
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Crossing Invisible Finish Lines
Recently, I found our old copy of Sandra Boynton’s Snuggle Puppy. Though Noah was not keen on sitting still and letting anyone actually make it all the way through a book without seizing it and possibly throwing it, I thought that book had a chance. It’s mostly a song, so I thought that would capture…
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I’m Not Cut Out for This
I’m not cut out for this. I turn around in my seat, having just finished hollering something ineffective and useless like, “I mean it!” And the children don’t care, and they aren’t listening, and I am filled with rage. I’m not cut out for this parenting thing. We are on our way back from Lake…
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The Waters Weren’t the Only Ones Raging: Bringing Children to the Water Slide Park
I have lived in Sacramento for four years, and never been to Raging Waters Sacramento (or any local theme park, really). There is a reason for this: I hadn’t felt up to dragging a bunch of baby children there. Since my kids are 7, almost 4, and 1, I have had some sort of baby…
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So, You Would Like to Have Three Children…
I regularly speak with people who have zero children, or one child, or two children. And they tell me they might consider or would like to have three children. My first impulse, I will own, is to bark, “No, you don’t want three kids.” But that is not helpful, I know this. So here’s what…
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Go Home, Lassie, You Are Drunk
Valiant, rescuing dog stories are kind of a cliché. Even if you never actually watched Lassie getting Timmy rescued from the well, you have probably encountered all the stories about brave and noble canines out there. Meg, my childhood dog, was very good at being a Labrador retriever. She was well trained. She could have…
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The Things I Remember
My grandmother is my one remaining grandparent, and she is ready. Ready to go. She has been ready to go. She is not ill. She is 94. I don’t know when she will go, but in a weird way, to be on her side, I have to hope that maybe it’s soon. My sister thought…
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Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking
Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any…