Author: Laura
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So, You Would Like to Have Three Children…
I regularly speak with people who have zero children, or one child, or two children. And they tell me they might consider or would like to have three children. My first impulse, I will own, is to bark, “No, you don’t want three kids.” But that is not helpful, I know this. So here’s what…
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Afternoon Off
sweet baby melted body dozy idle *** clean floor guests coming hide that *** warm dirt lazy sun kids inside quiet baby carrot cool, sweet
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Death Geese
I will admit, I have made some slanderous statements about geese in this blog (see All in the Family). However, I maintain that I was justified in calling them a$$holes. And if you do not already feel this way, I would like to tell you a story. My sister has always been afraid of geese.…
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Go Home, Lassie, You Are Drunk
Valiant, rescuing dog stories are kind of a cliché. Even if you never actually watched Lassie getting Timmy rescued from the well, you have probably encountered all the stories about brave and noble canines out there. Meg, my childhood dog, was very good at being a Labrador retriever. She was well trained. She could have…
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That Was a Sick Road Trip
Some of you have said that you are hoping for a blog post out of my trip to Mendocino with the three kids. Well, I’m not saying that won’t happen (we’ve only been here two hours). The drive sucked in the ways that all family drives suck. Nothing outlandish happened, however. But the fact that…
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The Things I Remember
My grandmother is my one remaining grandparent, and she is ready. Ready to go. She has been ready to go. She is not ill. She is 94. I don’t know when she will go, but in a weird way, to be on her side, I have to hope that maybe it’s soon. My sister thought…
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Stuff That Happens When I Am Not Looking
Once you are a parent–or really, once you have even just conceived–the advice starts rolling in. “Don’t leave the baby on the changing table unattended.” “Use ‘natural consequences’ to discipline your children.” “Don’t tell your child that he will go blind if he touches himself.” Well, I could probably write a blog post about any…
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Party Foul
When I was in graduate school studying publishing, we discussed a certain author and her series in my book marketing class. A well-known author, she was held up as having her act together on the marketing front. So when I met someone who said she was his grandmother, I was in awe. My new friend…
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She’s a Princess Queen
My daughter sings. She sings all the time. She makes up songs all the time. Granted, when her children’s choir stands in front of our church, she mostly forgets to sing and just smiles at me instead. But when she’s alone, she sings. She also tends toward the dramatic in her singing. Several years ago,…
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Penis Envy
Our first child was a girl. Partly because of this, I think of her as kind of a “starter child.” I know it must be because I’m a woman, but having a child with a penis just felt entirely outside of my skill set. When we potty trained Selah, it seemed straightforward. The differences between…