Reasons I Cannot Afford a “Swear Jar”

1) For some reason, I spill glasses of water a lot. And I always manage to do this right next to stacks of paperwork and/or other stuff I don’t want obliterated.

2) I have three kids. You know those people who are all, “God gives you children to grow your patience, yada yada”? Well, they are crazy.

3) I also have two cats and a dog. And invariably, whenever I have finished cleaning up whatever abominable mess the children have made, I come into the kitchen and step in pet barf. Or a barking dog wakes the baby. Or…

4) I am a bad person.

5) I am kind of berserk when I am hungry, tired, or stressed. And I am always at least one of these, and usually all three. See #2.

6) I am clumsy. See #1. And I become bad-tempered when I am injured.

Comments

  1. Alyssa:

    For me it’s generally #5. I might also add #7 there is always some ( insert toy/object here) that was left out in the middle of common areas and I invariably trip on it. Then commences a LOT of swearing–for the hurt toe, for the messy room and directed at the individual who was too lazy to clean up after themselves. Lord have mercy on me…and on the household that has to live with me.

    Reply

    • Laura Meehan:

      Oh yeah! The all-important #7! Someone else’s fault! If I step on one more little block or Barbie shoe…

      My kids have (kind of surprisingly) not started swearing themselves. Once, when Selah was 5, she quietly said a bad word, looking like she wondered what would happen. Our ensuing discussion basically drew a parallel between “bad” words and drinking alcohol–if she wants to use those words as an adult, that’s her prerogative. Right now, it’s not.

      Reply

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