Category: Uncategorized
-
Sheep, Hoarders, and Helicopters: The Piñata Test
You can learn all you need to know about humans when you attend a child’s party featuring a piñata. The good news is that we can stop funding sociological and anthropological research and just start sending scientists to children’s birthday parties, which are known to be–wait, those are as expensive as a university grant. Possibly more expensive. Never…
-
The Shut-Up Places
My kids and Leon and I are like a traveling road show. We spent the long weekend traveling down to the Monterey area to see our parents. Noah was in great form all weekend, if by “great” you mean “really whiny, oddly hungry, and also full of hilarious one-liners.” In other words, he’s four and…
-
Picture Day!
Recently, a small flyer came home in my child’s folder. It said, “Picture day is coming.” I remarked to Leon, “I’ll bet most parents don’t read that as a warning.” But honestly, I know enough of you do. I vaguely remember picture day. They’d line us up, give us a small black comb. (Where…
-
One Euthanasia Bag, Please
So, we did it. My partner and I took three kids under 10 on a plane. For lots of hours. The flight there was pretty good. There was a brief period of three-year-old Noah yelling, “I want orange juice!” because I had told him about the beverage service before it actually appeared (such a rookie mistake!)…
-
Three! Three? Three!
At the most recent Writers Who Wine gathering, one woman said, “Oh, I just LOVE three year olds! That’s the best age!” Wrinkling her nose, another woman asserted, “No. It’s the worst age. Three year olds are just awful!” Before I had kids, I would have agreed with woman one. After I’d had one and…
-
No-No
I call my youngest son No-no. His name is Noah, so it’s short for Noah. But at this age, not quite three, it’s also no coincidence, really. No-no (also goes by No-ee) is really a very sweet baby. I say this about him at an age in which I would already have been calling my…
-
Raisin the Roof (Plus Giveaway!)
No, the title does not contain a typo. I did not forget the apostrophe in “raisin’,” as in “raising.” I went to a party for raisins, and I’m writing a sponsored post about it. And best of all, you might be able to get a prize out of it! Here, let me back up a little.…
-
But When Will She Dance?
My friend just had a baby. When I spotted them across the courtyard at church, I did what I tend to do when I see babies I know: I swooped in and asked if I could hold her. My friend was nice and indulged me in my desire for baby hugs. We were at the church’s…
-
Oh Nooooo!
So, let’s say you have this red punching bag, the balloon kind. It originally belonged to your brother, but now it’s the only surviving one of three, so your mom said you have to share it. It has lost a lot of air over the course of the weekend, but it still remains somewhat balloony–it just has…
-
This Is My Circus; These Are My Monkeys
This morning I brought my kids to church with me. Whew. Somehow I have always found getting my children to church very difficult and tiring. I’m not exactly sure why, since we don’t have to leave as early as we do for school, and there is no need for lunches or anything–but it’s possible that…