parenting Archive
Revival
So. How were the last three, or maybe five or six–or possibly like ten–years for you? Mine were OK, I guess. Meaning they were kind of a foggy blur of loss and pandemic and political theater and scary weather patterns. I was grateful that I like my house and I found therapy in gardening, pets,
Category: Uncategorized
Distance Learning
Approximately 4,061 months ago, our local schools shuttered, and we started this new magic called “distance learning.” Needless to say, this is very hard for all of us. I can’t change that, but what I can do is provide some support for you parents out there. I’m going to craft a universal schedule based on
Category: Funnies
Life Is Like a Random Red Sock in a Tree
I am having a sad and disappointing few days. We’ve had a family loss and lost the house we wanted to a higher bidder, I’ve had some work stresses, frustrations, and minor disappointments, and my friends all keep having huge losses–and I finally just had a large pity party that I am probably way overdue for.
Category: Life
Merry as $^$^: A Christmas Tale
I’ll just start this out by being honest: I’m supposed to be working. But you guys need to know this story. So really, I’m acting selflessly by writing about it right now. You’re welcome. So. Christmas decorating. I love Christmas decorations, though setting them up is basically performing hard manual labor during a harshly cold,
Category: Funnies
What Are We Even Doing Here?
I gave my kids a piece of candy before the Easter service, I’ll admit. It’s just that they asked, and they had cute little baskets from Dad’s, and they were cute, and it was my favorite holiday. It was a mistake, because on the ride from their dad’s house, between the sugar and the excitement of
Category: Funnies
Accidentally Breaking Bad
Just found my daughter and her sweet little friend looking guilty in my daughter’s room. What they were trying to hide was that they were stirring together various household substances in cups, experiment-style. “What’s in it?” I ask. “Um, just some stuff,” Selah says. “What stuff?” “Just some salt and stuff.” I force her to
Category: Funnies
You Can’t Worm Your Way Out of This One
Last night I called Selah inside from the kids’ dirt play to get her ready for her night of pretending to be Eleanor Roosevelt at a wax museum. Which is itself a little odd I guess. Anyway, I started brushing her hair so I could put it up under her hat. It’s always very tangly so
Category: Funnies
He Won’t Eat Goldfish Crackers?
For my first two children, I had a rule that starting at age 3, they needed to try a bite of each item on their plates. However, it is clear that Noah feels that food is the one thing he can control and that most of it is gross. Upon the advice of his pediatrician, I have given
Category: Funnies
Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table
I am partnering with Circle with Disney to write for their Family is Everything blog. Here’s a little preview of my first post on their blog: Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table. The bad news is that I’m going to tell you that you can’t watch cat videos at dinnertime (usually). The good
Category: Funnies
Sheep, Hoarders, and Helicopters: The Piñata Test
You can learn all you need to know about humans when you attend a child’s party featuring a piñata. The good news is that we can stop funding sociological and anthropological research and just start sending scientists to children’s birthday parties, which are known to be–wait, those are as expensive as a university grant. Possibly more expensive. Never
Category: Funnies