Dress-Up Disaster

My last funny pet story was about Darryl the cat, named after Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.

Larry, Darryl, and Darryl

Larry, Darryl, and Darryl

Well, this one is too. Darryl figures heavily into my childhood, because he came along in that sweet spot of childhood when your pets are your primary playmates. Especially if you live in the middle of nowhere.

Darryl also came along in that sweet spot of childhood where I also played with dolls. This isn’t saying much, because I think I played with dolls much longer than you are supposed to play with dolls. But back to the point: what did my dolls wear? That’s right. Doll dresses.

Now, not all doll dresses will work on cats. But thankfully for me, Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, like my Lucille Anabella, were kind of plump. They had nice, roomy dresses.

By this point, we had established that Darryl was a boy. But boy doll clothes really don’t work on cats, because of the tail. So Darryl wore Lucille Anabella’s dresses. On this particular day, I selected a nice purple dress with flowers on it. It set off his gray fur nicely.

I really wish I had a photo on hand to show you, but a) I don’t have one on hand, and b) I don’t want PETA to come after me. So here, I have ripped this off the Internet, and you get the general idea. Only I’m pretty sure Darryl looked a lot happier than this in his dress.

Some Other Miserable Cat in Some Other Doll's Dress

Some Other Miserable Cat in Some Other Doll’s Dress

Anyway, I decided Darryl looked really doggone cute in his dress. So I brought him downstairs to show my mom and my sister. I’m not sure if they weren’t expecting it, or if it was just because he looked so funny, but my mom let out a loud laugh.

Maybe I should have mentioned along the way that Darryl was kind of a nervous cat. I really can’t imagine why. But this laugh scared him, and he started to run. Unfortunately, he decided to run upstairs.

Remember how I said Lucille Anabella’s dresses were nice and roomy? Well, they weren’t really designed for running, see. Halfway up the stairs, poor Darryl tripped in his dress.

Have you ever been around someone who fell down the stairs? Did it sound funny? Well, thankfully cats aren’t as large and unwieldy as people, so Darryl didn’t make as much noise when he started rolling down the steps. What stood out more was the angered mews he let out as he hit each step.

“Mer!” thump “Meew!” thump “Mer!”

Wait! Before you unfriend me on Facebook and/or call PETA: I really did feel terrible about this. I didn’t think he would run away. And I was little. But it was also funny, in the same way it’s funny if someone you really love falls down the stairs and you have established that they are unharmed.

OK, forget it–you can unfriend me.

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By the way, if you happen to Google “cat in a dress” and choose “images,” there’s some pretty funny stuff out there. But please do so with caution, because there’s also some pretty weird stuff out there.

Kids, please don’t try this at home.

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