Skating Rink Observations

I went to the roller rink with my daughter. It still looked like the rink of my childhood, smelled like the rink of my childhood, contained the same teenagers flushed with hormones, and featured the same terrified skaters clinging to walls (hopefully not literally the same skaters) and the skates from when I was little (quite
Category: Funnies

Poem: Humanity

This is a poem I mentally started when I was in Los Angeles for AWP.   Humanity I spot him as I get on the subway, All in black, with a black hat. He sits hunched over, as if sleeping. He doesn’t look asleep; he looks threatening. He’s dressed like a fighter, or a cowboy.
Category: Life

Sheep, Hoarders, and Helicopters: The Piñata Test

You can learn all you need to know about humans when you attend a child’s party featuring a piñata. The good news is that we can stop funding sociological and anthropological research and just start sending scientists to children’s birthday parties, which are known to be–wait, those are as expensive as a university grant. Possibly more expensive. Never
Category: Funnies

The Shut-Up Places

My kids and Leon and I are like a traveling road show. We spent the long weekend traveling down to the Monterey area to see our parents. Noah was in great form all weekend, if by “great” you mean “really whiny, oddly hungry, and also full of hilarious one-liners.” In other words, he’s four and
Category: Funnies

Little Wandering Daughter

As I drove out tonight, I looked up and saw the full moon in the sky. I took a moment to acknowledge my place underneath it. As I started driving again, I drove down the street past other cars, and we were like ants scurrying along on our busy way, oblivious beneath the moon. And
Category: Life

Like Putty in My…Hair

I drifted awake this morning, trying to decide if I should get up and hustle us to church or not. One of my kids loves going to church and asks if we can go more often whenever we’ve skipped. Another of my kids hates church, and I have to overcome a lot of unhappiness to
Category: Funnies

I Don’t Wanna Come Up with a Creative Title

I just keep starting to cry today. I’m not depressed. I don’t have PMS. I’m tired. I do feel a little beaten down. I have a child with challenges. School can be terrible sometimes. I yelled at someone in an IEP meeting, and I don’t approve of yelling at people you are trying to work with.
Category: Life

So, You Would Like to Have a Roomba…

I have a new Roomba. I thought I wanted one more than just about anything. And then I got one. And I was RIGHT! This thing has changed my life. My floors look amazing, even with three kids, one golden retriever, two cats, and a giant rabbit in the house. And I swear that has
Category: Funnies

Picture Day!

Recently, a small flyer came home in my child’s folder. It said, “Picture day is coming.”   I remarked to Leon, “I’ll bet most parents don’t read that as a warning.” But honestly, I know enough of you do. I vaguely remember picture day. They’d line us up, give us a small black comb. (Where
Category: Funnies

“Me Time”

People are always saying how important it is to take time for yourself. “Me time.” You read this in magazines, and people announce that you need this when you look frazzled. It’s not just something that would be nice, but it’s something that’s necessary for health. Just Google it and you’ll find at least half
Category: Funnies