Life Is Like a Random Red Sock in a Tree

I am having a sad and disappointing few days. We’ve had a family loss and lost the house we wanted to a higher bidder, I’ve had some work stresses, frustrations, and minor disappointments, and my friends all keep having huge losses–and I finally just had a large pity party that I am probably way overdue for.
Category: Life

Recipe for Disaster

9 cups Chex, two varieties for maximum mess 1 cup dairy-free chocolate chips (for child with allergies) 1/2 cup peanut butter with no crumbs in it (for child with allergies) 1/4 dairy-free margarine (for child with allergies) 1 teaspoon of vanilla, which children cannot see even though it’s literally in the front of the cabinet
Category: Funnies

Merry as $^$^: A Christmas Tale

I’ll just start this out by being honest: I’m supposed to be working. But you guys need to know this story. So really, I’m acting selflessly by writing about it right now. You’re welcome. So. Christmas decorating. I love Christmas decorations, though setting them up is basically performing hard manual labor during a harshly cold,
Category: Funnies

Beautiful Endings

Everything you need to know about child development, you can learn from soccer. I know that sounds weird. But it’s true. Selah has been on a soccer team since she was four. When she was four, I hated soccer, because she basically cried and fell down all the time, along with the rest of the
Category: Uncategorized

What Are We Even Doing Here?

I gave my kids a piece of candy before the Easter service, I’ll admit. It’s just that they asked, and they had cute little baskets from Dad’s, and they were cute, and it was my favorite holiday. It was a mistake, because on the ride from their dad’s house, between the sugar and the excitement of
Category: Funnies

Accidentally Breaking Bad

Just found my daughter and her sweet little friend looking guilty in my daughter’s room. What they were trying to hide was that they were stirring together various household substances in cups, experiment-style. “What’s in it?” I ask. “Um, just some stuff,” Selah says. “What stuff?” “Just some salt and stuff.” I force her to
Category: Funnies

You Can’t Worm Your Way Out of This One

Last night I called Selah inside from the kids’ dirt play to get her ready for her night of pretending to be Eleanor Roosevelt at a wax museum. Which is itself a little odd I guess. Anyway, I started brushing her hair so I could put it up under her hat. It’s always very tangly so
Category: Funnies

chaospoem

where are the wii remotes she said banging in the door swinging child do not come in here and ask me where the remotes are I am editing poems and I never use those  
Category: Funnies

He Won’t Eat Goldfish Crackers?

For my first two children, I had a rule that starting at age 3, they needed to try a bite of each item on their plates. However, it is clear that Noah feels that food is the one thing he can control and that most of it is gross. Upon the advice of his pediatrician, I have given
Category: Funnies

Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table

I am partnering with Circle with Disney to write for their Family is Everything blog. Here’s a little preview of my first post on their blog: Your Kids Need You at the Dinner Table. The bad news is that I’m going to tell you that you can’t watch cat videos at dinnertime (usually). The good
Category: Funnies