The Tooth Fairy Bites

I have to say, one of the hardest things about parenting is being the doggone tooth fairy! I know, I know, some of you manage this beautifully and your beautiful children have beautiful charm bracelets representing each of their lost teeth so they can cherish these childhood milestones. (Cough, Kelly, cough, you’re making the rest
Category: Funnies

I Had to Walk Uphill Both Ways!

I’ll be honest: I had a very challenging childhood. When it came to television, that is. My kids don’t get it. We have YouTube on our TV, several streaming programs, and instantaneous iTunes rentals, which means that they can literally watch anything at any time. They are privileged jerks, and they don’t even know it.
Category: Funnies

Drop It Like It’s Hot

I’m getting ready for the school auction. Asher says, “Mom, can you jump on the trampoline with me?” “I can’t, honey, I have to get ready for the party.” “Oh, is it one of those parties where the adults all drink a lot of wine?” “Um, well, it’s a party of school parents, and we’ll
Category: Uncategorized

Please Get Me Out of Here: 14 Days Left

I have something dreadful to admit: I have become a terrible mother. No, seriously. On Monday, sitting at my desk, which is mere inches from the dining room table, where all three kids but especially Asher were super hyper and hooting and hollering, I bellowed, “Shut UP!” Yes, I have reached a point where I
Category: Funnies

Life Is Like a Random Red Sock in a Tree

I am having a sad and disappointing few days. We’ve had a family loss and lost the house we wanted to a higher bidder, I’ve had some work stresses, frustrations, and minor disappointments, and my friends all keep having huge losses–and I finally just had a large pity party that I am probably way overdue for.
Category: Life

Recipe for Disaster

9 cups Chex, two varieties for maximum mess 1 cup dairy-free chocolate chips (for child with allergies) 1/2 cup peanut butter with no crumbs in it (for child with allergies) 1/4 dairy-free margarine (for child with allergies) 1 teaspoon of vanilla, which children cannot see even though it’s literally in the front of the cabinet
Category: Funnies

Merry as $^$^: A Christmas Tale

I’ll just start this out by being honest: I’m supposed to be working. But you guys need to know this story. So really, I’m acting selflessly by writing about it right now. You’re welcome. So. Christmas decorating. I love Christmas decorations, though setting them up is basically performing hard manual labor during a harshly cold,
Category: Funnies

Beautiful Endings

Everything you need to know about child development, you can learn from soccer. I know that sounds weird. But it’s true. Selah has been on a soccer team since she was four. When she was four, I hated soccer, because she basically cried and fell down all the time, along with the rest of the
Category: Uncategorized

What Are We Even Doing Here?

I gave my kids a piece of candy before the Easter service, I’ll admit. It’s just that they asked, and they had cute little baskets from Dad’s, and they were cute, and it was my favorite holiday. It was a mistake, because on the ride from their dad’s house, between the sugar and the excitement of
Category: Funnies

Accidentally Breaking Bad

Just found my daughter and her sweet little friend looking guilty in my daughter’s room. What they were trying to hide was that they were stirring together various household substances in cups, experiment-style. “What’s in it?” I ask. “Um, just some stuff,” Selah says. “What stuff?” “Just some salt and stuff.” I force her to
Category: Funnies